Two Nations Divided
by Sabby More
Summary: Zuko finds himself wanting more out of his life than what is usually handed to him. His journey leads him to places that he has been to before but he sees them through eyes freshly opened to the pain and suffering that he once caused.
1. Zuko's journey to self discovery

Two Nations Divided

Chapter 1- Zuko's journey to self discovery

The bitter war the Firenation had waged with both the Watertribes and Earthkingdom had not been resolved. Almost a hundred years before the last of the Airbenders had been annihilated. That is, the last except for Aang, the Avatar. Five years before, after being stripped of his honor and exiled from his homeland, the Firenation, prince Zuko was given the mission to find and capture the Avatar.

Prince Zuko failed in his mission. He was cursed to forever be a dishonored exile from his own country. Although, it took five years to complete Zuko finally accepted the fact that the Avatar could not be captured, grudgingly as he did so. After realizing that their plight was hopeless both Zuko and his uncle cut their ties to the Firenation, their hair.

Since then, Zuko's hair had begun to grow back. Surprisingly, he and his uncle had found safe haven from his father, the Firelord, in the midst of the Earthkingdom city Ba Sing Se. his uncle quickly settled and soon, even opened his own tea shop (that old man did know his tea) and was doing well.

After four months Zuko began to go stir crazy. He had grown accustomed to being on his ship following the trail of the Avatar. He also was not used to being treated like a common peasant. He was a prince for crying out loud! More importantly, he was Firenation!

He had to get moving again. It would be different this time though. This time, Zuko would be leaving his uncle behind. Over the five years of exile from their homes in the Firenation his uncle had become more than just an uncle to him. He was a tutor, a friend and more of a father than his own father had ever been.

His uncle insisted on going with him but Zuko was adamant on going alone. He decided to head north across the ocean to the North-Pole. He had not been able to enjoy himself the last time he had been there because he was still on his mission to capture the Avatar, when he had still believed that there was still hope of reconciliation with his father.

After chasing the Avatar's tail for almost five years Zuko knew one thing for sure. He really liked Watertribe girls. It was weird, he knew, but he couldn't help how felt. He found Watertribe girls to be spunky and focused and, wildly attractive, he could never act on these feelings though. He wasn't a complete dolt! Uncharacteristically, he found himself daydreaming of what his life would be like if he had been born into the Watertribe instead of the Firenation.

In his fantasy there was a girl (more like a goddess) with jet black hair, as shiny as a newborn seal's, she wore the clothes of a typical Watertribe girl, but her eyes were not compatible with either, they were the same red-brown color as Zuko's own, matching also in their intensity. He wanted a closer look, to investigate the red flecks in her eyes but, before he could, a sharp pain in his arm snapped him out of his reverie.

"If you really want to leave, I recommend that you get going now," his uncle whispered to him through the dark of the early morning, "you know, you could always change your mind."

"I haven't changed my mind uncle. I'll miss you though."

As Zuko embraced his uncle he had the strangest sensation that this was the last time that he would get the opportunity to embrace his uncle that way again. Suddenly, Zuko was reluctant to let go, a sensation he seldom had. He had not hesitated to get onto the boat when his very own father had exiled him from his home. In fact, he couldn't be aboard fast enough when he realized that leaving home also meant leaving Azula behind too.

Azula, his younger sister (by two years, big deal!) was her father's daughter, a firebending prodigy who loved nothing more than to gloat over her quickly acquired success to her brother. It infuriated Zuko that everything came so easily for his sister while he had to kill himself with work just to achieve anything at all.

His jealousy for his, oh so perfect little sister had made the first few months of his journey easier for him. The separation anxiety really hit him after the first year and after the fourth year he was desperate to get home. He even wanted to hear her smug, cocky voice.

He knew better now. Azula was a traitor! He couldn't believe that he had trusted that lightning shooting, ass kissing, traitorous twerp for a second. She, who had mockingly teased him ever since the day she first noticed that she could bend fire. He had never thought that she would go so far as to use deceit or try to betray him, her own flesh and blood but, it was left to his assumption that firebending had burned a hole in her chest where her heart used to be.

He chose to believe that the only reason Azula was the way she was, was because she had been left alone with there father for so long. Zuko finally saw his father for what he really was, a tyrant, a coldhearted, greedy bastard who could as easily turn his back on his own son as some shut their windows against the wind. Azula had been so much more pleasant to be around before their mother had left them.

Zuko took one last long look at his uncle, imprinting in his memory the old man who had been there with him throughout all his journeys, stood by him through all the challenges, defended him when his name was being slandered and taught him how to take care of himself without the help of others. The wise and sometimes fumblingly idiotic old man never failed to create a warm spot in his heart that never ceased to remind Zuko, even in an Earthkingdom city, that he was Firenation.

His uncle placed a placating hand on Zuko's shoulder and let it stay warmly there for many moments, letting his heat flow into his nephew before, almost reluctantly, he let go.

"Be careful Zuko. I'll miss you terribly. You were always like the son I never had."

"I will be careful uncle. Don't worry about me."

With that Zuko left. Rappelling down the stone wall surrounding Ba Sing Se. It was ironic that he was breaking out of the city that the Firenation were excessively anxious to penetrate. Zuko chuckled to himself as he recalled Azula's failure when she had tried to invade the city, only to be defeated and humiliated by Aang, Katara, Sokka and Toph. At least Zuko could say that Azula knew what defeat at the Avatar's hand felt like with a straight face.

Determined to be inconspicuous, Zuko made his way by moonlight to the Serpent's pass. Although he knew that that way was dangerous and he would more likely get killed than make it to the other side, he also knew that it was because it was so dangerous that nobody would dare go anywhere near it. Therefore, the likelihood of him being spotted while traveling there was very, very slim.

Just before dawn he arrived at the stream that was the beginning of the Serpent's pass. As he looked at the stagnant water and a shudder traveled up his spine he began to reconsider the path he had chosen to take. He braced himself, took a deep breath and dove into the icy cold water, scrambling to the surface gasping for breath when the shock of the freezing water reached his spine. It was at times like that Zuko really wished that he had been born a waterbender instead of a firebender. Catching his breath again, Zuko began making his way across the water in long strokes.

Surprised when he made it to the other side without experiencing any casualties Zuko quickly dried his clothes before the chill gave him pneumonia or something even more terrifying, a cold. It was typical Firenation mentality but he knew that he would rather burning lungs any day over a cold.

His clothes dry, Zuko made his way into the mountains, heading eastward, just as the first rays of the sun could be seen over them. Walking quickly on the rocky path Zuko was forced to thread more carefully as the rocks beneath him gave way. He would have been sent hurtling towards his ultimate doom if he had not been able to dive to safety in time. For once he was glad that his father then, his uncle had drilled him in firebending basics ceaselessly. The stealth training didn't hurt either. His reflexes were incredibly fast and his muscles, strong.

At midday a sense of idiocy and bewilderment settled on Zuko. He had turned down his uncle's offer of food and water and was both hungry and parched. He had been so sure that a place called the Serpent's pass would be ideal for hunting exotic, wild animals that he had failed to pack emergency supplies and had gotten himself into a deserted, barren and dangerous path. All because he had decided to go it alone! He was beginning to understand why his uncle always beat him at chess. His uncle would have at least had the good sense to think ahead and pack some food, no matter what Zuko told him.

Zuko was getting tired of his own antisocial nature. It had caused him nothing but trouble and it sucked because he could do nothing about it. He was not comfortable around and even less comfortable trusting them. The number of alliances he had had in the past proved that, there weren't a great number of them to boast about. Usually, he did better on his own but he knew to himself that he just could not do some things alone and some things were just easier with someone beside you but for some reason, he just did not trust people. Hadn't his very own father given him a reason by sending him away?

Shaking himself out of his self pitying state of mind Zuko forced himself to rise and continue his journey, hungry as he was. The heat of the day both rejuvenated and sapped his energy, if that was even possible. When nightfall arrived Zuko didn't know whether he was relieved or upset. It took him a while to even get up enough energy to light a fire for the night. As unappealing as it seemed Zuko went to sleep on an empty stomach, unable to sustain conscientiousness, he passed out immediately after the fire was lit.

When Zuko awoke the next morning, before dawn, both replenished and refreshed he was almost certain that he had died during the night. Upon giving himself an once-over and finding everything to be as it had been the day before Zuko put out his fire and continued on his journey. It was shocking to think that he was walking across the Serpent's pass without something dire or at least tragic occurring along the way. It was almost as though the deadly path had a certain respect for Zuko that allowed him to pass unscathed. As dawn approached, Zuko resolved to leave the troubles of his past behind him. He resolved to be a new man and find his place in the world, even if that meant, in direct opposition of his father's desires.


	2. the hero within

Chapter 2- the hero within

Survival. As a basic instinct it keeps from the simplest to the most complex of creatures alive. Survival was what Zuko was desperately striving to maintain. He was on a mission. He had to see it through, for himself, if nobody else. But first, he had to figure out how he was going to keep himself alive. The second leg of his journey was through a forest so thick, that using his firebending was more of a liability to him than an asset.

Using his firebending could start a forest fire that would most likely kill him if he could not control it. He therefore, was immobilized when it came to hunting. Not even the sun could penetrate the dense foliage the trees around him created. Lightheaded and only semi-conscientious Zuko wandered around the forest floor. He had not eaten for nine days now, so his vision had wavered. He was so parched now that water seemed only to be a friendly, distant memory. When he fell into unconscientiousness, he welcomed the darkness like a long lost brother.

He was awakened by the scent of bread and freshly fried fish to find himself sitting against the trunk of a tree. Beside him were a plate, piled high with fried fish sandwiches and a glass, filled to the brim with juice of some sort. After being starved half to death, Zuko did not give himself time to admire the offering but quickly devoured both food and drink.

With the meal in his stomach Zuko rose to continue his journey, careful to take both the plate and glass he had eaten from with him so he could return them to their rightful owner. Although Zuko was stronger, over the period of the next seven days he still fell unconscientious from time to time. Each time he awoke it was to find fresh food in his plate and drink in his glass. On the seventh day as he walked he found a clearing in the trees. He was astonished to find himself at the entrance of an Earthkingdom village.

He could smell the ocean so he decided that the village must be near to the harbor. While walking through the streets the sound of a scuffle drew his attention to four boys, no older than twelve, kicking something against a wall. The sight caused his heart to jump with terror. No creature deserved to be treated that way. Zuko knew that especially. When he finally found his voice he ran up to the boys, pulling them away from the helpless, whimpering ball against the wall even as he yelled.

"Hey! Stop that! What the hell do you think you're doing?"

One of the boys fixed his indifferent gaze on Zuko.

"She said she wanted to play." He smirked.

At the words, Zuko could feel his anger growing. It was one thing to kick a poor defenseless animal around; it was another thing entirely to willfully kick around someone's child, and their daughter no less. The whole thing was disgusting. Before he realized what he was doing Zuko grabbed the boy closest to him and slammed him into the wall, hard. It was hardly a fair fight but then, neither was ganging up on a little girl; one by one the boys fell victim to Zuko's wrath. It was only when all four of them lay groaning that Zuko regained control of himself.

The little girl who was the real victim of the whole malicious act had finally uncurled herself and was watching Zuko. He walked over to her and squatted. Hoping that he was not scaring her even more he smiled reassuringly.

"Hi there. Are you o.k.?"

She smiled back at him, if somewhat shakily. Before Zuko had time to blink she was up, with her chubby, little arms tossed around his neck.

"I'm a lot better now. Thanks to you."

He lifted her into his arms and stood, quite easily, she was very light.

"You're pretty strong for your size aren't you? So, what's your name?"

She hesitated.

"Tatiana… what's yours?"

"Lee." Even as he said the word Zuko groaned inwardly. He had just met her and already he hated lying to her.

"So, how old are you Tatiana?"

"Six."

"Really? I was six once. Where are your parents Tatiana?"

"Dead… Can I have my plate back now Lee?"

"I'm so sorry about your parents... wait, what plate?"

"You know exactly what plate I'm talking about. The plate you've been eating from for a week. That plate! I'd like it back, please?"

Reaching into his bag he retrieved the plate and glass along with a small sum of money and handed them all to her. She looked from him to the money in her hands before placing it back into his hand.

"I couldn't possibly take your money. You've done too much for me already."

"Not nearly as much as you've done for me. Besides I have more than enough money for my journey."

"I don't do it for money you know?"

"Why do you do it? And why were those boys beating you up before?"

"Oh, that. I just like helping people and those guys, are just really big bullies. They always pick on me."

Zuko remembered when he had just begun to learn to firebend. The older boys used to pick on him too. His mother used to tell him that it was because they were jealous of his natural talent. His mother had always had a soothing touch so-to-speak.

"Tatiana, you wouldn't happen to be an Earthbender would you?"

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"Lucky guess. You know what? Don't pay attention to those guys they're probably just jealous that a girl is kicking their butts at Earthbending. Don't sink to their level. You're better than that Tatiana. You're a genuine hero."

"So are you Lee. You're my hero."

Zuko remembered saying those words to someone in what felt like a totally different lifetime.

"You're my hero mummy. I love you."

He would make her proud of him. The hero who had been forced to leave him behind. He would make his mother proud of him.

* * *

Did the best I could with the ideas I had. Review now! Kay! 


	3. a person he did not know

Chapter 3- a person he did not know

Rebuild. The one word that continuously hovered in Zuko's mind. That's what he had to do; rebuild his self-esteem, rebuild the prince who had died when his father had exiled him, rebuild his happiness and most of all, rebuild the many homes, cities and lives that he had so willfully destroyed before. He just wondered if the people he had hurt before would accept his help.

Tatiana was first on his list of people to help. True, in Tatiana's particular case he had not been at fault but he still felt responsible. Her parents had been killed when Firenation troops set fire to their fishing boat. Firenation, therefore, his people had all but murdered her parents in cold blood. He took it upon himself to help her. Every time Zuko looked at Tatiana he remembered himself at that age, before his father became the Firelord, before his mother left.

During his stay, Zuko rented a small house in town and got a job as a fisherman at the pier. Tatiana had insisted on staying with him and Zuko really didn't have the heart to turn her down. He had to be extra careful not to use his firebending around her, though it was not very easy considering that she followed him everywhere. Tatiana followed him around the house, to the pier (never into the fishing boat) and along the streets. The only safe times for Zuko to firebend were before she awoke in the morning and after she went to bed at night.

Over the period of the next three months Zuko became another one of Tatiana's tutors. Since her earthbending classes began after Zuko started work and ended before he got off on afternoons she had an adequate amount of time to herself, which was good since Zuko was worried about bombarding her with work. They began every morning with meditation and on afternoons before sunset they did drills in martial arts. Some days Tatiana even showed Zuko some earthbending stances. Zuko was surprised to see that some of the earthbending stances were firebending stances as well.

When they meditated, Zuko could not help remembering the time when his mother had shown him the very same meditations that he showed Tatiana. When they practiced martial arts (for self-control as well as self-defense) every time Tatiana mastered a difficult maneuver Zuko was filled with a sense of pride that he had not known he could feel, at times he could not help but sweep the giggling figure into his arms and spinning around while she shrieked joyously or doing a little jig with her. At these times he would remember his mother covering him with soppy kisses or tickling him till he begged for mercy. Sometimes he even found himself crying.

He had to tell the truth about who he was. Tatiana trusted him and all he did was lie to her, he was ashamed of himself for it. More so because he cared about her. If she hated him because of his equivocation he deserved it, lord knew, he hated himself for it. After dinner that night as he and Tatiana sat digesting the big fish meal (Zuko got a discount on fish) he broke the tense silence.

"Look, Tatiana, there's something I need to tell you. I'm not who you think I am."

She stared at him blankly.

"What are you talking about Lee?"

"That's what I'm talking about. My name isn't even Lee, its Zuko! I don't belong to the Earthkingdom, I'm a Firenation prince! The Firelord is my father!"

She seemed considerate for a few moments. Considerate, but not scared. Then, she smiled and looked at him, speaking with wisdom beyond her years.

"I don't care."

Zuko was taken aback.

"What?"

"I said I don't care. If you were a mean prince then it doesn't matter to me. You're my hero and you're here now, protecting me and taking care of me and showing me how to do that for myself. Who your father is doesn't make a difference in that and the past doesn't help me now. Can I still call you Lee though? I kind of like it."

Pulling her into his arms Zuko crushed her against his chest in a ferocious, bone crushing hug. He stroked her hair and thanked the heavens that people like her still existed.

"Sure, you little angel. You can call me anything you want. Anything you want."

That night Zuko dreamed, it was more of a memory than a dream though, about his mother. Zuko was seven and Azula was five. It was a windy day, too windy to risk firebending practice, a month or maybe two before their mother left. Both Zuko and Azula were at home so, after their morning meditation their mother decided to take them kite flying and picnicking as well. It was one of the best days of his life. They stayed out all day and he and Azula grumbled unanimously when the time finally came to go home.

Zuko awoke with tears streaming down his cheeks. He missed her so much. Things were always so much easier when his mother was still at home. Zuko was beginning to realize that he was more like her than he had ever noticed. He didn't know himself anymore, not really or, was it that he was just getting to know himself, this intriguing person he did not know but was always finding out more about. He was his mother's son, just as Azula was their father's daughter. All he had to figure out now was why he had ever locked her away.

After another six months had passed, Zuko, regrettably, had to move on. Tatiana did not take it very well. She shrieked and wailed and begged him not to go. Looking into her teary eyes he saw a seven year old boy, clinging to his mother, promising to be good if only she wouldn't leave him and his heart broke. He couldn't just leave her, he wouldn't. So, he wrote to his uncle Iroh in Ba Sing Se asking him to take care of her. His uncle sent back excited word at the prospect of having a little girl under his care along with a messenger to retrieve the child and accompany her to the city.

It took some encouraging but eventually Tatiana agreed to the voyage. Again, Zuko was shocked at how much she was like him, stubborn and brave. Uncle Iroh was going to love her! Finally, the day of her departure arrived as Zuko secretly hoped it never would. When he and Tatiana said their goodbyes he wanted to crawl up into a ball and die but he put on a brave face for her sake.

"I don't believe in goodbyes Lee. We'll see each other again. I know we will. So, this is farewell."

"I guess it is. Farewell Tatiana, and take care of my uncle will you?"

"Farewell Lee. Oh, and don't worry, I will.


	4. The Northward Journey

Chapter 4 – The Northward Journey

Two days after Tatiana had left for Ba Sing Se Zuko decided that it was way past time he stopped feeling sorry for himself & went down to the docks to get a ride out on the next ship to set sail. He was headed to the Haven in the North. Maybe, on the way, he could help a few of the people whose lives he had taken such joy in destroying. He did not know how but, he would find a way, he always did.

As he boarded the ship he thought of Tatiana. She would be safe now & free & happy. Zuko had done that for her, that fact made him proud. At least he had helped her, that was a step in the right direction that he could not negate, even if he had wanted to.

The Haven in the North was the last place of refuge for anyone who was fleeing the in-fluence of the Firenation. Neither his father nor his little sister had ever been able to locate it. Zuko had tried & failed as well but, he was beginning to see that as a refuge doors were opened to him that had been locked & bolted before.

That was not even the best part! The best part was that the Haven in the North was far away enough from the North Pole that nobody would know about who he had been. It didn't matter if they did anyway because, thanks to the travel papers his uncle Iroh had had forged for him, he wasn't even Zuko, he was Lee. In a way he had his father to thank. If he had not been so power hungry & unforgiving, Zuko would never have found direct passage to the one place he had failed to locate.

The feeling he had, boarding the ship the Lotus Blossom was good, it was familiar, it was right. Outrageous as it seemed, Zuko had missed the water, the wind in the sails, the sensation of carefully orchestrated drifting through the seas that surrounded all four nations. The ship he stood on was in no way connectable to his own but to him, it still felt like home. Looking forward to the expedition ahead, he set about doing his, or Lee's, as-signed chores.

Over the course of the next two weeks Zuko became such an expert fisherman that he could rival any Waterbender on board the Lotus Blossom when it came to fishing skills. Living each day in the fear that their vessel might be spotted by the Firenation made Zuko excessively diligent. He was sure not to affront any of the other passengers on board & even made a friend, an Earthbender named Masolvich who thought that he was just an "un-fortunate chap" who had messed with the wrong Firebender; he had no idea how right he was. Even though they considered all Firenation the "wrong" ones, Zuko knew that they were mistaken.

He could think of one Firenation who was right. His mother was right when she left his father. Zuko could only believe that he had changed for the worst when he had become Firelord, that it was the power that had corrupted him & his mother had not fallen in love with a monster & bore him two children.

Masolvich was like the big brother Zuko had never had or, to be quite frank, ever want-ed. He treated Zuko like an insipid child who could not take care of himself & he used Zuko's scar as license for his being an over protective pest. There weren't even any other Firenation on board.

"Masolvich," Zuko would cry in exasperation, "I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself."

To this Masolvich would laughingly reply.

"So you say Lee, but that there scar on your face says differently. I'm gonna look out for you, keep you out of trouble."

Grudgingly Zuko would accept that Masolvich was never going to let him do anything if he could not keep a hawk's-eye-watch on him. & as much as Zuko hated to admit it, the big oaf was growing on him even if Masolvich did consider him incompetent. Not knowing the security of a normal family, Zuko assumed that older siblings typically believed that their younger siblings were incapable of taking care of themselves. Not even Zuko was head-strong or stupid enough to oppose Masolvich.

Besides, his schedule was a simple one. On the mornings he swabbed the decks along with Palnickan, Bartmellow & Adrial while in the evenings, he fished with Marstaj, Masolvich, Julimon & Vertigio, after dusk everyday he had a few minutes to himself to practice some basic Firebending stances in his cabin before he had to run off to help Bensalic, Rowlark, Mattinil & Pollyfald cook dinner. After dinner, they always swapped scary stories before lights-out, which was fast becoming Zuko's favorite part of the day.

As simple as his daily tasks appeared, at times, they could actually becomes pretty boring & strenuous especially since there was no possible way for him to forget them. At times swabbing six decks could be relaxing, soothing even & at others, it could be the most putrid, disgusting, muscle-tensing activity created to taunt a man, Firebender or other-wise. Sometimes the banter that he shared with fishermen or cooks put him in a great mood, others, they would make some uneducated statement about the Firenation that would make him fairly want to wring their necks.

Why could they not see that the Firenation were not evil, that they were misguided, mislead. After being disowned, exiled & stripped of his honor, that much was clear as crystal to Zuko but, for guys who were older than him, the other refugees on board apparently had no military career or knowledge & were more than a little thick-headed. Oh well, at least he was headed Northward, where he wanted to be.


End file.
